


Bound Together

by cheeseburgersmakemeveryhappy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canon Related, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, F/M, Feels, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Mild Smut, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 13:52:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5588437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheeseburgersmakemeveryhappy/pseuds/cheeseburgersmakemeveryhappy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is just a man. And he is an unwilling pawn in Amara's plan to be humanity's next God. Thankfully Cas is there to pick up the pieces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bound Together

“Dean?”

As always, there was nothing and then Cas was there. This time he was still in motion, as if he had walked from one plane of existence straight into Dean’s bedroom, his tan trench coat gently moving around him. Cas took two more steps, stopping in front of the figure who sat on the edge of the bed, head sagging between his shoulders while cradling a lowball glass half-filled with whiskey between his knees. He placed his hand on the man’s shoulder.

Dean raised his eyes and stared, unable to muster even a small smile. Cas looked into those eyes and despite the low, soft lighting easily saw immense pain and shame reflected in the green. Dean seemed tightly strung, barely able to contain his agitation. He exhaled sharply and hung his head again.

Cas sat on the bed beside him, his hands folded in his lap, and waited.

“Why is it always me, Cas?” Dean whispered.

The angel turned to look at him, canting his head slightly to one side.

“She said we were bound together,” he continued. “Like I need another ‘profound bond.’”

The room filled with an uncomfortable silence that stretched for minutes.

“What happened, Dean?” Cas prodded gently.

Dean sighed and took a gulp from the glass in his hands. “She, uh, she used me Cas.”

***********************

_The wind slowly whipped around them, sending little green leaves swirling through the grass. It was a quiet place with a scattering of small trees and wild flowers, a prairie of some kind next to a brook that barely ran with water this late in the summer._

_Dean looked around to get his bearings, assess threats, but the threat was right before him in a low-cut black dress and long, brown hair. The Darkness – a power equal to God Himself – with the Mark of Cain on her shoulder and brown eyes that looked into his soul, ready to claim it for her own._

_“I will never hurt you, Dean,” she told him calmly and reached for his cheek. Dean steeled himself, anticipating pain nonetheless. “We are bound together.”_

_If he had any influence over Amara he needed to start using it, so he licked his lower lip and tried to think how he, Dean Winchester, might be able to negotiate for humankind once again. Because this was his life – being the most ridiculous choice ever to defend civilization and yet standing in front of God’s fucking sister and trying desperately to figure out what to say. Sam needed to be here. This would be right up his alley. Sam always knew what to say. Dean just knew when to punch._

_“God refuses to answer me, refuses to answer Sam,” Amara continued, offering him a look filled with meaning. Dean’s gut twisted in pain, at once pissed off and confused. She had confirmed his worst fear. If God wasn’t talking to Sam then who the hell was? Where was Sam, anyway? Dean started as strong fingers held his jaw and focused his attention back to the woman before him. “I will be a much better God than God ever was,” she promised._

_“Said every dictator, ever,” Dean replied, returning her stare._

_She looked into Dean again, making him uncomfortable under her scrutiny. This entire situation was uncomfortable. And then Amara squeezed his jaw and he considered how uncomfortable he could really be here._

_“I have read your Bible and I understand what humanity needs to accept a new deity,” she said calmly, ignoring Dean’s comment. Dean blinked and tried to follow her logic. “Humans need to know that their God understands them and is ready to sacrifice for them so they, in turn, will sacrifice for their God. I have taken this form and grown in it, from infant to adult. And now you, Dean, will provide what is required to bring forth another, more fully embodied version of me. One that all people will see as the merging of the divine and the mundane.”_

_Dean swallowed hard as Amara brought his mouth down to hers and kissed him, realization setting in. He was not doing this. There was no fucking way he would ever do this._

_“Yes, you will,” she whispered. The hand not holding Dean’s face lay flat against his chest and Dean jumped. He was bare. Her fingers trailed down his skin until they rested on his cock, soft but slowly perking up, traitor that it was. Dean looked up at the sky and tried to calm himself, willing his body not to respond._

_“Don’t do this,” he said quietly. “I don’t want this.”_

_“I want this, Dean. That’s all that matters. The world needs this.”_

_“Bullshit,” he breathed. He reached out to still her hand but found himself unable to move. Panic flooded his brain. If he couldn’t move, there was a very real chance that this was happening and there was nothing he could do about it._

_“Shh,” she cooed. “Breathe, Dean.”_

_Suddenly he was on his back, grass tickling his skin and a soft breeze sending goosebumps across his body. He was naked, exposed and hard and he wanted to puke. He thrashed his head, the only body part he could apparently move. “Stop, Amara,” he begged. “No!”_

_She was suddenly over him, still clothed in a black dress that fluttered around her, and all Dean could think about was Cas’ wings. Cas and his beautiful, tattered-but-powerful wings. Dean gasped and suddenly felt a pain in his chest that must have been his heart breaking._

_“You love another,” she noted. “He will not abandon you, Dean. Neither will I.” And with that he felt the slide of his flesh into wet warmth, a shock to his system that yanked a shout from his lungs. He tried again to resist, tried to roll to the left or right, to raise his hands to push her away, but he was pinned down, weighted to the ground. He was at her mercy and his dick responded to the body on top of him the only way it knew how as Amara leaned forward and smoothly moved up and down._

_There were no more words, just the ragged breaths Dean let escape as The Darkness used his body to sire a new being, a new messiah who would be Dean’s child and Dean’s responsibility to destroy. Tears leaked down the side of his face and into the dirt and grass. It was always him. Why was it always him? Amara kissed him, her lips soft against his. He felt the tightness in his groin, the coiling of his orgasm as it neared and Dean could do nothing but close his eyes and will it to stop. But it was no use. His body was on autopilot and not even thoughts of Cas or murder could stop it._

_“No, no,” he chanted, but Amara was grinding into him, moving faster as she felt his body tighten beneath her._

_“Yes,” she whispered._

_Dean came hard, gasping as he released inside her. He stared into her eyes as he shook through it and she smiled back at him with a calm and serene look that scared Dean to his core. She reached out a hand to cup his face._

_And then Dean was standing on a street corner, dressed in his FBI suit, still panting with exertion and the knowledge of what he was now a part of. What he had done. He pitched over and vomited all over his black leather shoes._

_**********************_

“I may have fathered the anti-Christ,” he said wearily, unsure if that was more true than a horrible joke. He looked into Cas’ eyes. “I’m sorry, Cas,” he whispered.

Cas scanned Dean’s face, concern writ large in his eyes. “Dean, why would you apologize to me? I am so sorry that she did this to you. She has touched you. Intimately! Without your consent!” His voice was getting louder and that was not his intention. He was no longer troubled but furious. Furious that Amara had dared hurt Dean like that. That Dean had been powerless. That he had been raped. That Cas hadn’t been there to stop it, or protect Dean.

Dean flinched as though he had been struck.

“Cas, I get the big picture, I really do. But I can’t even think about that right now,” he replied. This was the part that hurt like a bitch. Hurt him bodily. The part he was certain he might never recover from. He tried to calm his breathing by closing his eyes. “I can only think about the fact that there’s only one person I have wanted to touch me like that for a long time.”

Cas watched as a tear dropped into the tumbler and mixed with the whiskey Dean clutched. Dean sniffed and looked at the angel with red, blurry eyes. “That’s why I’m apologizing.”

There it was. Out in the open. Dean looked at the wall in front of him, sighed heavily and raised the glass to his mouth, only to have Cas gently take it from him. “Dean,” he said quietly. Dean turned into Cas’ open arms. Cas waited and after a second’s hesitation, Dean grabbed onto him, pulling him close and grasping onto the back of the trench coat like a lifeline.

“Oh God, Cas! What have I done?” he sobbed. “I’m so sorry. _Please_ ,” he gasped.

Cas shook his head and slowly rocked Dean. “Please what, Dean?” he asked. “What can I do?”

“Please don’t hate me. Please don’t…don’t leave.”

“Dean,” Cas sighed. “I will never leave you. I can’t ever leave you.” He leaned back to look in Dean’s eyes, so beautiful and filled with pain. “You could never do anything that would make me love you any less than I already do.”

“You…”

“Of course I do. And Dean, this wasn’t your fault. You can’t for a moment think you could have changed the outcome. She is the Lord’s equal and you are merely a human.” Cas gathered Dean close to him and moved them both to the head of Dean’s bed, pulling the exhausted man into his lap.

Dean sank against Cas’ chest, his head resting in the crook of Cas’ neck, and let the angel hold him close. Cas loved him? He said he wouldn’t leave even though Dean had had sex with the most immeasurable evil they had ever encountered. How was that possible? Dean had sickened _himself_. How could an angel look past something like that? How could his angel not resent the hell out of him? Cas should hate him.

“You _should_ hate me,” he admitted in a small voice.

“You were raped, Dean. I should have been there, protecting you.” Cas’ strong fingers made soothing circles on Dean’s back. He kissed Dean’s temple and Dean thought he might cry again. “I will never hate you. You often make me angry with you,” he added with a tiny grin, “but I can’t hate you.” Cas pulled away to look into Dean’s eyes again. “I have wanted to touch you like that for a long time as well,” he said quietly.

Dean searched Cas’ face for answers, confusion wrinkling his eyebrows together. How is it possible that Cas has loved him and wanted him? How could he have missed that? “What?” he asked.

Cas responded with a light kiss. Easy as pie. Natural as breathing. And Dean couldn’t move. How could something as taboo as kissing your best friend – kissing a goddamn angel of the Lord – be that easy? Dean looked around the room quickly.

A slight chuckle brought Dean back. “No bolt of lightning, Dean,” Cas responded. He lightly carded his hand through Dean’s hair, and then kissed Dean again, just as softly as before with just a whisper of lips. “No divine retribution.”

Dean blinked. They were across the chasm. They had leapt across years of longing and camaraderie and kicking the shit out of each other. And it had only taken one kiss. And despite everything that had happened or was about to happen, Dean huffed out an amazed breath. He slowly wiped his hand down his face, shook his head and laughed. And then he couldn’t stop. He was laughing so hard that he shook with it, shaking Cas through the closeness of their bodies. Relief poured off him as he smacked a hand against Cas’ chest. He looked at Cas then, into cerulean blue eyes that hid entire galaxies inside, and smiled.

“Heya, Cas,” he breathed.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas replied, returning the smile.

And then Dean kissed Cas back.

 


End file.
